Today is the 1 year anniversary of my top surgery.
I couldn't have gotten here without all of the support I had. From my wife, from my community, friends, chosen family, oh-and my therapist. I really don't know what to say beyond that. It takes a village, and I got a village.
I remember in my first semester of German class one of my classmates saying how she had dreamed in German. I took 3 semesters of German, but I never dreamed in German. My dreams are weird; when I dream about people I know they rarely look (or act) like they do in awake-world. Even when I dream of my own meat sack, it's not necessarily a 1:1 awake-to-dream match, but interestingly, a few months after my top surgery I started to have an awareness that my dream body was breast-less. It IS my body, and even my psyche knows it.
When I look at pictures prior to my surgery, that body is foreign to me. I remember the shame, embarrassment, discomfort of those days, but when I see those photos I know that that is NOT my body, THIS is MY body. Since my surgery I have had several people comment that I seem more "myself" since surgery. Yes. I have returned.
