I Un-friended My Mother Today

I un-friended my mother today. Not that we've ever had the kind of relationship where I would think of her as my friend. Don't get me wrong; she is mother and I love her as best I can. I think.

I un-friended my mother today because a few days ago, I went to her page to see if she was active because I wanted to post something about my childhood that would implicate her, and I know she would be upset about. She was indeed active, and the only two things on her page were Slot-o-Matic scores, and "(D)ump is awesome" posts. My dear mother who barely survives on the little Social Security she gets each month, my dear mother who relies on Medicare for her many health issues, my dear mother who is a recipient of  Meals on Wheels, my dear mother who is also a sexual assault survivor...and loves (D)ump.

He has screwed her over, and still she loves him-that's okay, it is a free country after all, and she is free to engage in all the dysfunctional/abusive relationships she chooses to. But what about her children? I'm a woman, I'm a pagan, I'm gay, and I'm a survivor of multiple sexual assaults...there is no room for me, and people like me in (D)ump/Pence's America. I un-friended my mother because she doesn't care, for whatever reasons (today I'm not going to waste my psycho-analytic skills to figure that out, and yes I am a licensed mental health professional) that not only is she in the cross-hairs, but so am I...her daughter whom she regularly refers to as her "darling baby."

But, it doesn't really surprise me. This is old behavior. This is the same woman who time after time, stayed with alcoholic men who physically, emotionally, and sexually abused her children while she turned a blind eye until SHE couldn't take the abuse any longer.  And today I am done. This woman is not my friend. Yes, she loves me in her own dysfunctional way, but she doesn't have my best interest at heart. She can't see my struggles, (justified) fears, and pain for her own fears, and pain (her name does mean "pain" after all).

I've made a commitment to myself to no longer tolerate intolerable behavior-she will deny her intolerance and her racism, but it is undeniable. She sees herself as a victim, she continues to blame everything wrong on her life on someone else, rather than reclaiming her power by making better choices, and by taking charge of her negative thinking and attitudes. When (D)ump gets on his pulpit and incites his followers into a self-centered blame-fest so they can play victim, and lament their lack of having their own gold plated toilet to crap in because of the immigrants, the poor, the blacks, the Muslims, etc; she like them laps it up. They stew in their pretend victimhood, rotting in the fetid juices of hate, and fear while the rest of us, the survivors, fight to make a better world for ourselves... and for them.

Today, I un-friended my mother because I need to surround myself with people who care about EVERYONE. Today I un-friended my mother because her blind submission to yet another abusive, narcissistic man makes me physically ill. Today I un-friended my mother because we are not friends.