truth or consequences

the truth is that I know the truth...i know my truth. I've been having this little dilemma because I kinda got fixed up with two different women at the same time. Being the big nerd that I was I didn't really think anything would work out with either of them. Also, I was thinking, "if I have these two women to navigate at the same time, being the loyal-to-a-fault person I am, I won't be jumping in the sack right away, and thus won't be falling 'in love' with someone that I don't really know yet".

So as it turns out, both women are interested in getting to know me. The one wasn't able to get together for a couple weeks (today being the big day) and in the mean time I've been seeing the other woman pretty regularly. It was getting to a point with the woman I was already seeing (C for the sake of ease) where we were both thinking about taking thangs a little bit further and she still didn't know about girl # 2 (S for the sake of ease). I had gotten some advice earlier that was basically, "If you're not screwing, they don't need to know about each other. They'll just shut down if they know you're see someone else". This being a person I respected, I went with it, even though it felt awkward. SO. Back to "so when are we going to kiss?". At this point I called Simu and asked her advice. "The truth shall set you free! If you can't have honesty, what do you have? Besides if C really likes you she will respect you even more for being honest." That felt good. Before I spoke to Simu, I was thinking about my other friends would say, and the truth is, most of them would scoff at me for being up front with these women. So, I told C about the pending date and she didn't throw #33 pho bowl in my face. And we made out a couple days later. (Simu also suggested waiting 6 weeks; we tried. Sorta)

So next we have S. I was really stressing about meeting up with her because I wasn't sure what to tell her. The truth? The whole truth? This time I turned to my philosophical friend Jeremy (who happens to be my seperated at birth, long lost nerd twin brother). After many of his in depth soul searching conclusions, once again The Truth won out. So, I met S, we had a nice lunch, and when she asked if we should meet again informed her that I was indeed seeing another woman. I did fear her reaction, but refreshingly enough, she is "sick of lesbians who want to get married after the first date" and was happy to hear that keeping things light was my agenda. I really do prefer the truth, but I'm always afraid that people will be offended by it. Who woulda thunk the truth could be so refreshing?

I'm tired

What an interesting day. At least for me. I helped my friend Neal with his Kiiko workshop today, which is always a hoot. Kiiko is this famous acupuncture scholar, and man is she full of fire. Every one's favorite Kiiko line is "When we were a fish-uh...", not so much because of the content, but how she says it...probably one of those 'have to be there' things.

After the workshop I went to visit my new, uh-hem, friend, Chris. My plan was to saunter in and lay a big confident (first) kiss on her, but instead, I did my best 'oh shit, what do I do now' dance. Yup, still a big nerd. Oh, well, they tell me that it is now cool to be a nerd.

dude, dude, dude-man

Now that I'm over my job, lets talk about my best friend Sheila. This photo was taken about 8 years ago. It was March or April and Sheila and I were working out in the back yard and a couple of snow flakes fell from the sky. Sheila looks at me and says, "Hey! Wanna load up the truck and go to Phoenix; I'm sure its not snowing there!" So with that, we loaded up her old '74 Ford truck with the Vulcan, the kayak, and a change of underwear and we were off to 'disneyland'. Disneyland in this case being our friend Meloni's apartment complex that had this great little man made mini-lake around it. On this particular day, we got up, went to the pool, paddled around the 'mote', and then drove the motorcycle up the street for our Ambrosia, good coffee. That was the best day ever.

The first words that flutted through my head upon waking were today's title. So here is the story. Sheila and I had gone to the grocery store, and the little gang-banger wanna-be at the check-out, in the space of 30 seconds had called us 'dude' or 'dude-man' about 12 times. So while unloading our groceries at home, we pulled our pants as far down our hips as we could, gangsta style and proceeded to have a contest to see who could use 'dude' the most in a sentence. After that, as our little joke we greeted each other regularly with "dude, dude, dude-man". The only problem is that our little joke on the check-out boy karmically backfired on us, because now, like the check-out boy, we call everyone "dude" to the point of annoyance.

resolution of the saga...

Whilst having a slow moment at the store, Divinity intervened and I wrote a very nice resignation letter...no mention of anyone being a self centered arse, or anything. I said something to the effect of "the stress of full time school and working 4 days a week were too much for my immune system to handle, and that I was honored to have been a part of the team, and would miss it..." all of which were true statements.

The boss and I spent the day strategically avoiding each other, but when it was time for him to leave for the day, he came up to me and informed me that he had gotten my letter and that he was sorry to be loosing me, or some such sentiment. I just grunted and squeaked a bit, afraid to engage. All is well. Thanks B and B for the feedback and support, it is good to know that I did the right thing.

On a completely different note: Damn! My belly is hairy.

the saga continues...

I'm really struggling with how to handle giving my 2 weeks notice at work. Sure I could just say "hey Bryan, this is my 2 weeks notice", but I have so much more to say than that. And by more I'm not thinking of all of the hateful things I want to say, no, it's the "wake up and smell the coffee, man", stuff I want to say. I want to let him know how hurtful his constant accusations and innuendos of me not really being sick when I've called in were. I want to tell him how frakking loyal I was to this company until this last incident. And I want to tell him what a loyal frakking crew that he has now, and if he doesn't change his frakking attitude, he is going to loose everyone of them. But I'm afraid, that as is my usual Karma, he won't hear it. What he'll hear instead is some accusation against him that he will deny, and my message to him will be blocked by a brick wall. So, how do I smoothly exit this situation WITHOUT any regrets. And why is it I can care so little about big things, and care so much about little things?

biding my time

Well, I didn't manage the whole quitting my job thing yet. I found that my first day back at work after spending the majority of the last 4 days in bed was a bit more tiring than I had bargained for; thus I was emotionally, mentally, and physically ill equipped to deal with the back lash of giving my two weeks notice. Tomorrow is another day.

ranty, rant, ran

Oh there are so many thoughts floating in my head, which one do I write about? Shall it be butchering, sex, or quitting my job (these are each separate topics, btw)? Or how about fire-pig? I tried to take a pix of fire-pig, but my camera is very fickle. When I was in ND, my mother was very excited to take me to the feed store and get me a pig-lighter that shoots flames out it's nostrils. Very handy for when you are smoking two cigarettes at a time.

Oh, let me tell you about quitting my job. If you've been keeping up with the blog, you may have picked up on the fact that I haven't been feeling well. So yesterday I called in sick for today. I called my co-worked to pass along the message because it never fails that when I talk to the boss he gives me all this grief about taking a sick day. So, I thought I was in the clear til I got a phone call a couple hours later that happened to be from the boss. "You know I'm a little uncomfortable with you taking more time off. I mean you just had time off, and it was scheduled and all, but still I'm a little uncomfortable with this. And, we just gave you the 4-day week, but I'm still not comfortable with you taking more time off." The response I wanted to give him was, "what the frak do you think I'm doing here? Sitting by the pool sipping pina coladas?...I would lie down on the frakking railroad tracks to save this company, yet all I ever get from you is passive aggressive bull-S***, so why don't you just suck my cock and shove your job up your butt." But instead I said "Yeah, if I feel better, I'll come in". And the big bug up his butt is that we are under-staffed, which he decided to do on his own to save money, while at the same time dumping a bunch of money into our web-site...and the web-site is supposed to be going live but they're still having problems with it, so I'm an asshole for getting sick and taking time off. The moral of the story here is that I am sick of giving my all to a job, compromising my own health, and getting no appreciation in return, SO, tomorrow when I go in, I give my two week notice, and if he starts more of his passive aggressive tantrum crap, I might just walk out a little sooner, because life is too damn short to be this unhappy with a place I spend so much time at every week.