If one can be fully present in the moment, there is no room for worries about tomorrow, or frets about yesterday. This being present thing is a struggle most days, and today even more so because I'm having so much back pain that I don't f'ing want to be in the present.
Part of the problem with my shoulder rehab is that without my shoulder being functional I haven't been able to do the back exercises that keep my spine stable, so as my back gets weaker, my back pain gets worse. And as this whole process ferments, the creepy, crawly, insidious Hopelessness seeps into my psyche, telling me that "I will never feel good again", that "I will never be able to return to the Highland Games," that "I will be in pain for the rest of my life and will just have to deal with it."
I'm not digging any of this. And as the pain in my back gets worse, guess what? The motivation to work out gets less and less. I know what I need to do and I will continue to do it, but I gotta tell ya, it's a big F'ing struggle right now.
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2 comments:
Oh, chica! Be kind to yourself during the healing process. It's won't last forever and you deserve a little self-TLC.
Come play in the mud!
I have full confidence that when you find the RIGHT PT person, your relationship to this healing will change!
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