an....interesting day

So, after talking aloud, I concluded that one of my jobs just wasn't worth the stress it was causing for the small amount of money I was making, so on the way to work I was working up my courage to give my 2 weeks notice. The courage part was mainly needed because I love the people I work for and the patrons of said place...but issues with a co-worker...well, they just weren't going to get better.

I'm nervous, but I'm ready. Then my boss has a talk with me and tells me that said co-worker has left for the day to "think about things" (which might be interpreted as "thinking about quitting) after the boss discussed with her some issues that patrons have brought up. And during co-worker's defense, she basically blames me for everything wrong with the job. She even perceives me as being so...vile...evil...??? that she had changed her work schedule so she wouldn't have to interact with me.

Wow. Color me taken-aback. Let me tell you, whether real or perceived; it just doesn't feel good to have someone think so poorly of you. Especially when it's someone you've gone out of your way to please.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect and I know it. And let me tell you, I spent the first 3 month heart-fully apologizing daily for everything that she brought to my attention that I f'ed up. And apparently the moment that I no longer accepted her constant appraisal of me as being completely inept, incompetent, and certainly not nearly as awesome as her; I became the enemy in her mind.

So tonight, I'm working on letting it go. Living in the moment. At the earliest I won't have to deal with her until Monday. But here's the thing...it's the same buttons I dealt with with my mother. Everything is my fault. I am always the wrong one. I don't get to have a voice.  
And I've been living with this for months, and it's been pounding on those buttons with a sledge hammer. I'm a raw nerve.

What I know for the moment: My boss supports me and recognizes that I'm not evil spawn, and in fact she values me, and wants me to stay. I did inform her that my intention had been to give my two week notice, but I will reconsider if the co-worker leaves. I will not stay if she isn't gone in 2 weeks. I'm done torturing myself with co-workers with personality disorders. I want to eat a bag of cookies.