strong

Sometimes I feel strong.
Sometimes I don't.
Right now, I don't feel strong.
I miss feeling strong.

Strong in all senses of the word.
But mainly internally.
I lack conviction.
I lack motivation.

I lack a sense that I'm on the right path.
That everything will be alright.
That everything will work out.
That I am safe and OK.

There are times in the darkness when I'm OK.
But this isn't one of those times.
I fear the dark and the quiet.
In them, there is no place to hide from myself.

I know it will get better.
But I don't feel it.
I know I've been here before.
But I've forgotten what the light feels like.

Maybe tomorrow I will remember.
Maybe tomorrow I will feel it.
But tonight it is Dark.
And I am alone.