the battle

I don't know where this became programmed into my head, but it did.

I'm not "full" until I'm sick...and then take about another 4 bites.

I've been better about not doing this, about being aware of my body, but so much for the last...I'm not even sure how long. Definitely since Phoenix, maybe longer. I became AWARE of it again tonight. I was scrounging around in the kitchen like a little mouse, searching for "what else" I could eat after dinner. And for some reason I actually paused and checked in with my body. My stomach was full. Very full. But I still wanted to eat. I argued with myself for a moment about what would be ok to eat, and the part that was aware that I didn't need, or want anything else finally won out. A small victory, but a victory none the less.

There will be many more battles. I know, because this is a battle I've fought many times. And I thought I had won the war. But somewhere/sometime, complacency stepped back in, and I "checked-out" when it came to putting things into my belly. So the battle begins anew, and I know how insidious the enemy is. Time to charge on.