Feeling less angry today. As well as less...well, everything...but in a good way. My last post was a catharsis. I said things that I needed to say, and that I've been needing to say directly for some time...I've just needed to let my truth see the light. I have been lugging my shame and fear around on my back for far too long, and I've been able to dump a little bit of that load. Am I cured? I don't know...I don't even know what that means, or what that would look like.
At least for today, I feel like a "normal" human being (or at least what I think a "normal" human being feels like)...not so much like the waif on the outside looking in. Will I be able to maintain, how will I maintain? I don't know. And that is okay. I'll take today, and I will embrace it with gratitude.
Yesterday, the 5 remaining days of my internship seemed like an insurmountable obstacle, but now that it's whittled down to 4, now that I know I will see my wife in 5 sleeps, now that by the end of next weekend I will only have one more written test left to finish my degree...now I feel like I'm on the downhill, and at least for today, everything seems do-able.
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