closure

So, at the end of the month I go back to ND to visit my mother. I wouldn't mind the trip so much were I able to take enough time off to actually have a vacation as well, rather than just have another time-off-of-work-to-go-visit-relatives. But I the thing is, I might not get another chance to see my mother. It's not like she has some impending-doom type illness, but the truth is that her health isn't that good. So this is my opportunity to go back and see my mother and say to her whatever it is I need to say in order to not have any regrets if it is indeed my last visit with her. With my father, there was a long, slow, painful death, and yet we still, neither of us, said the things we needed to say. I have that opportunity. Perhaps I just don't want to face the reality of the fact that this could be my last chance for closure. As much as my mother sucks my soul, I don't know that I'm ready to be parentless.