Why do we drink the last drop of that shitty cup of coffee? Why do we remain friends with people we can't really even say we like? Why do we stay in relationships with partners who don't bring us joy? Because we have learned to settle.
This last birthday, a few days after my partner of nearly four years had moved out, I sat under my favorite tree enjoying a good cup of coffee and the sunrise. In the past I have had a tendency to find everything wrong with the day on my birthday...primarily because of misdirected expectation...mainly the expectation that on my birthday nothing should ever go 'wrong'. But on this particular birthday as I sat enjoying everything about the moment, I made a conscious decision that I wasn't going to settle. The truth is, that four year relationship had been empty for me for a long time, but I stayed-waiting for things to miraculously change. And in my life in general I was living in fear...fear of being poor, fear of not having enough, fear of what people thought of me. But that morning, for whatever reason, I was able to transcend my attachment to my fears and my dysfunctions and start living the life that I want to live.
Now all of this doesn't mean that my life 'perfect' whatever the hell that means. I still get grumpy, things happen in my life that I'm not thrilled about, but I am able to be more present in my life. And by being more present, I can enjoy life so much more...experiences, people, feelings...I can actually take notice and enjoy these things. And the flip side is that I notice more readily the things that I don't enjoy AND I can take action and find a way to transform or remove these things from my life. I have learned to have appreciation for all of the good things in my life...and have learned to appreciate myself...to appreciate myself enough to not settle.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment