more on settling

This program was previously recorded on another site in response to a couple of posts in regards to getting involved in dysfunctional relationships:

I recently had a BFO about my previous two relationships. These women both seemed very functional on the outside...and they were very functional in their everyday lives (and certainly the most functional women I had ever been with...and to my credit, I was the most functional I had ever been), but from my experience both had some relationship issues that they were in denial about (and obviously I had some relationship issues as well, otherwise things would have worked out a bit different). Anyway, one night when I was doing the wide-awake-at-2am thing, I had a flash of our therapy sessions, and in both cases what these women said basically amounted to: *I* don't have any issues, the reason we are here is because of Lu Ann's abuse issues. And I took that on (and I'm not saying that I don't have issues, just that the problem with *our* relationship wasn't limited to "my issues")...and if I brought up their "issues" which I believed were affecting *our* relationship, there was a complete denial..."nope, the only thing wrong with this relationship is that I can't touch Cowgirl's ass".

My picking has improved, but I still have some work to do. And, at least for me, it comes down in large part to the issue of settling. I know what I want, but then when something (someone) comes along who doesn't fit my picture of what I want, I just say, "well, at least she is(n't)" fill in the blank. We have a right to be picky, because we do deserve the best...whether we believe it or not.

Stay tuned for a chat about attachment to our "issues"...