Home again, home again. I met up with one of my old therapists before I left. She commented that it was nice I was able to come back so I could get perspective on how far I've come. At the moment I was so not digging it as I was ready to strangle my mother (so much for serenity), but now that I've gotten back, she is of course right. The changes in my...way of being may not be as obvious to the people I'm around every day, but for those who haven't seen me in 3 or 4 years, the change is huge.
On a different not, people often ask me "What is there in ND?", and my usual reply is "nothing...although the springs are nice". And for me, each time I go back there is less and less for me to 'go back to'. There is my mother, but I've grown more and more distant from my brothers, many of my friends are gone or our friendships have slowly eroded away, even the town itself is dying a slow erosive death....but there are a few things that I still hold on to...mainly the few friends I still have, and the land (see photos above). Mountains are pretty, I enjoy forests, but the Badlands are in my blood and in my soul...those are what I love and what I long for. But to remind me that ND is no longer my home, in several businesses I saw a magazine...The 'ND Sentinel' I believe it was called...full of republican rhetoric---extolling the virtues of war, 'family values', and the full range of conservative bs letting me know that 'my kind' are not welcome. Thanks, I'll be going now.
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