I decided to chat with a couple of topics I have mulled over in my blog in therapy today. Gender and my family...specifically my lack of emotion in regards to my pathological family members. What I came to the conclusion to was that it is not safe to be emotional about my family. I think I would disintegrate if I were open to being emotional about my family. i keep myself open to the people i love...that doesn't include my family. the wounds are too deep...too close to being mortal. But, I am free now. Free to live my own life, free to make my own sense of Family.
It's funny, every time I get a little clearer about cutting ties to my family, my brother G tries to make Contact with me (tonight he called just as I got out of my therapy session). Does he feel me pulling away? Have I broken the circle? What is it he feels? Why does he act like he cares when I finally don't?
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