I didn't think I would need to see my therapist after my visit back to mom as I have been doing quite well psychologically. I was wrong. I found that I was quite...out of my body after the experience of dealing with 4 days worth of comments such as this one that came after spraining my ankle: "Maybe you broke it and you will have to stay here with me." Thanks mom.
About 95% of my conversations with my mother involves her complaining about how horrible her life is. A while back someone suggested that the next time she did it I should counter with my own story of how horrible my life is. It back fired...her response was "Things never work out for you either...You're Just Like Your Poor Ol' Mother." I nearly vomited from the psychic sickness that washed over me when she made that statement. One of those lessons that I've known in my head, I finally got in my heart. That lesson being that my mother wants to live through me...that also means that she wants to pass on her suffering to me. I am happy to say that I don't want it. The thing that I've been getting this last year, and the thing that has been making me a happy s.o.b. is that I Don't Have To Live My Life For Anyone Else. I love my mother, but that doesn't mean I don't get to love myself. I have reclaimed my life, and not everyone is happy about that, but I am, and that is all that matters.
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