My friend the Gadfly

This morning before our workout, TokyoRosa and I went out for coffee and chatted...most of the chat was about me being tired and not wanting to work out...after I had texted her at 6:45 to meet, and after which she had reminded me that the gym doesn't open til 9 on sundays.

However, somehow our conversation got around to all of the (literal) baggage I carry around. Damn you TR for reminding me that I am not as Zen as I would like to believe. I have a storage unit full of stuff. Well, about 1/2 of it is stuff, the other half is actually Stuff that I would be using were I not living in my friends' spare bedroom. "Why do you keep all of this stuff" she asked. I only had an excuse, not an answer. That answer being that I am (cue the Dio) the Last in Line...my father died with only one child (me, if you're having trouble with the math), both of his brothers died childless and his sisters disowned the family...so here I am with all of this stuff...and no one to pass it along to. There are others with my name out there, but I don't know them and they don't me, so there is this heavy feeling that haunts me and stalks me...what is that feeling? (long pause) Obligation. And let me tell you, obligation is one of those primal buttons for me.

I don't know if I'm making it up, or if she actually said it, but I can hear "when are you going to let go?" ringing in my head. Preferably before my mother kicks the bucket. So: Soon, dear Gadfly, soon.