I've been digging around in psyche, cleaning out the refrigerator if you will. And I decided to clean out the crisper drawer. You know the one, the one filled with bags of rotten and/or moldy produce that you ignored or forgot about. As I was cleaning out the bag AKA "Epilogue", I found stuck to the bottom a bag of slimy okra. Now, I don't even eat okra so imagine my disgust.
Analogies aside, "disgust" is the perfect name for this particular bag of crap. I'm not going to get into the story, I just am having some curiosity about words. You see when I brought Okra up to my therapist, I struggled to speak about the incident at all, but especially I couldn't speak any words to describe the actions that created the okra-disgust. And I thought I would be able to write it out and send an email, but another "nope". I can't speak the words, I can't type the words...even typing the words in a draft (not intending to send) were out of the question. And in the grand scheme of things Okra is kinda low on the toxic waste list, at least to an outside observation. Having a little more insight I see where some of the slime comes from as it mirrors an event that created a toxic swamp monster long prior to the acquisition of the okra.
It's interesting how some words have so much power over us, or can create emotion, or pop an image into our heads. Take for example "kittens" or "puppies"...sit with those words, and see how they make you feel. Do they make you feel warm inside? Stir your heart? Put a smile on your face? How about "moist", or "phlegm", how do those words sit with you?
Well, these words, they freeze me in place. And something about these words, if I share them, if I create a picture in someone else's mind with these words, it feels like I will fall from the canyon ledge into the never-ending abyss. Of course feelings are not facts; this is something I have preached to countless folks, and reminded myself of innumerable times. As I think let myself ponder this salad of disgust I realize how much of my life is affected by this okra shit. It's curious to ponder if I might navigate the world and my life a little differently if I were able to clear out all of this toxic mess. We'll see how things go tomorrow.
Analogies aside, "disgust" is the perfect name for this particular bag of crap. I'm not going to get into the story, I just am having some curiosity about words. You see when I brought Okra up to my therapist, I struggled to speak about the incident at all, but especially I couldn't speak any words to describe the actions that created the okra-disgust. And I thought I would be able to write it out and send an email, but another "nope". I can't speak the words, I can't type the words...even typing the words in a draft (not intending to send) were out of the question. And in the grand scheme of things Okra is kinda low on the toxic waste list, at least to an outside observation. Having a little more insight I see where some of the slime comes from as it mirrors an event that created a toxic swamp monster long prior to the acquisition of the okra.
It's interesting how some words have so much power over us, or can create emotion, or pop an image into our heads. Take for example "kittens" or "puppies"...sit with those words, and see how they make you feel. Do they make you feel warm inside? Stir your heart? Put a smile on your face? How about "moist", or "phlegm", how do those words sit with you?
Well, these words, they freeze me in place. And something about these words, if I share them, if I create a picture in someone else's mind with these words, it feels like I will fall from the canyon ledge into the never-ending abyss. Of course feelings are not facts; this is something I have preached to countless folks, and reminded myself of innumerable times. As I think let myself ponder this salad of disgust I realize how much of my life is affected by this okra shit. It's curious to ponder if I might navigate the world and my life a little differently if I were able to clear out all of this toxic mess. We'll see how things go tomorrow.
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