Atrophy. It's not just for breakfast anymore

Greetings Spider Friends! It's been a while since I've updated you on my shoulder progression, and today was a good day in PT so it seems like a good time to say, "you know, I'm really craving brownies." I'm also feeling a bit stronger...this weekend while recovering from the flu, I got a wild hair to start doing hangs from my chin-up bar...so i did...until my neck started to bother me. I was feeling kinda guilty going into PT having stepped over the Thou Shalt Not line, but after hearing Jen say "Hey your range of motion is looking really good" I got the last laugh! 

So what does this mean in the grand scheme of throwing heavy things? Well, I'm not sure exactly but what I do know; I have a long ways to go to restore medial rotation (hammer toss); I've still got a ways to got on general stability (I won't be hefting a 28 lb weight at masters this year); I can sleep without pain and do most "ordinary" activities without pain-which opens me up to hope of recovery; I can't do a pushup, but I don't really care, nor could I ever really do a decent pushup; as soon as I won't freeze my kilt off I can start some light practice; I still want brownies. 

And yes, I am a little all over the place tonight. I can assure you that mind is indeed a tangle of spastic tentacles. For some time I have struggled with my most recently chosen profession, and a recent series of somewhat related, somewhat unrelated events has gotten me to a level of stress that I am ready to walk away from my job. I am not sure if I will do that or not, but it is an option that is on the table...and if you've been keeping up with my ramblings, you are aware that my biggest stress reliever is throwing heavy shit, and I have not been throwing for several months now. So it is safe to say, I am having a bit of a stress overload. I have put out some energy and intention into the universe for some guidance and courage to move me onto a path that will provide joy and satisfaction, and now I have to trust that I will know the path when I come to it, and that i will be ok, no matter what in the mean time. Ah, faith...it is a muscle that I have let atrophy along with my anterior deltoid.