spiritual malaise

I attended a spirituality class once. I was looking for answers. The teacher gave her lecture, but rather than giving me answers, it only created more questions for me. I didn't want to bombard the teacher, so I picked a single question, that I hoped would shed light onto all of questions. Her answer was, "Hmm, I've never thought about that before. I will have to take that to my teacher." I never did get an answer. And I am still looking for answers. I am happy for her that I was able to get her to think about something new, but I am also tired of being someone else's catalyst. I want someone to be my catalyst, and it seems like every time I search for one, this is what happens. It makes me feel, once again, like I'm having to be everyone else's mommy. I don't always want to be The Mommy. Or The Fixer. Or The One Who It's Alright To Go Off On Because She Won't Take It Personally. I am sensitive, I do have needs, and sometimes I need someone to hold MY head and tell me it's going to be alright. When I say "I could really use some support", I mean it. That exercise right there has taught me who my real friends are, and I was amazed to find how few my true friends are. (Props to C & J) This whole rant is the result of the journey to re-find my spiritual connection. I am going to a therapist who, more or less, specializes in helping people with their spiritual connection. I am going to pay someone to help me find my way back onto my path, and my former attempts have failed, left me questioning even more, and the fact that my friendships aren't what I once believed them to be, is a greater symptom of my spiritual malaise.