Funny Story

A little over a year ago I was in an almost 4 year relationship. I was in a relationship that was feeling rather stagnant, and had been feeling that way for quite some time...and I was feeling pretty crappy about it...and the big problem was that my partner at the time seemed to think that our relationship was just fine. I have heard way to many friends tell this story; My partner and I had this great relationship, and then one day, out of the blue, she broke up with me. And I gotta tell you, I was completely unwilling to be one of those assholes.

So, I concocted a plan for us to go to couples counseling, in hopes we can both get on the same page. And when I initially made this plan, there was still a thought in my head that maybe there was something wrong with me and therapy would help me to appreciate my relationship (keep in mind that I was in individual therapy as well). Well, after a number of months of working on communication, my now ex, started to see that things weren't as perfect as we were pretending. During one session in June, ex actually brought up the idea that maybe we shouldn't be together. On the drive home she asked me what I was thinking. "Maybe it is over" I said tentatively. "So, we should break up?" she responded. "I think so." And that was our break up. There were a few tears of sadness, but no big deal. Smooth sailing. It was the most pleasant break-up I have ever had.

Now you may be asking yourself, "where is the funny part?" Glad you asked. Our counselor Roberta (this part is funny because I had an unpleasant ex situation with a 'Roberta'), where was I? Oh, yeah, Roberta is awesome. I will continue to use her services whenever I manage to find myself in relationships again. The funny part comes in that I love to recommend Roberta because she was so great; the only problem is that people are a little skittish to use a therapist that I went to to break-up with my partner with. But here's the deal; Roberta really did help us with our relationship. We learned to communicate better, we learned to understand one anothers' perspective, and we learned to like each other even when we came to the realization (all by ourselves, without any prompting from Roberta) that we just weren't compatible as lovers. Most of Roberta's couples clients don't wind up breaking-up, but there is a time to let dead-dogs lay, and for us, it was that time, and Roberta let us do what it was we needed to do to get there. So, if I ever recommend my couples couselor, don't freak out because she didn't save my relationship. Instead, she saved both the ex and I.